I've seen better days - H

How do you deal with defiance? I really have no clue though I can remember being quite the defiant one in my childhood...although I was probably older than 2. The dilemma I face is that J's defiance is a result of her feeling hurt and maybe neglected. I think she's finally feeling some jealousy toward baby E. I suppose it's probably a combination of her having to learn to handle this change in our lives, and also we, as parents, having to learn how to meet her needs while simultaneously trying to meet the demands of an infant. It's quite a difficult juggling act, I must say. The last few days have absolutely wiped me out and brought me to my wits' end. It's brought me to tears, to the point where I've questioned all I've done the last 2 years as a parent, wondering if what I really did was spoil her and teach nothing. Did I create such a monster?

So, it's hard to discipline her b/c I know her episodes are a result of her hurt feelings. I fear that she'll feel even more hurt when disciplined for her behavior. I don't know...maybe it's too early? Then, the other thing that makes it hard is that I understand her. I know why she's acting the way she is, and I can empathize (while at the same time feeling insanely frustrated and angry myself). It's hard to take myself away from the situation emotionally and think though the situation with a clear head...all the more b/c I am a feeler.

I admit that the last few days weren't among my better days as a parent. I made some mistakes, but I hope J knows that and that she knows that I know that and that she can be gracious. I'm not perfect, and I know I need grace and forgiveness from my children as much as they need it from me. Lord, help us!