Faith - H
Finished! School is out, and I can take a little break before I have to start studying to teach next year. I'm taking on AP bio. Honestly, I feel a bit intimidated by it, but excited about teaching older kids. We'll see how it turns out. Maybe it'll rekindle my passion for teaching?? I don't think so though.
The decision to work part-time next year has brought up so many issues for me. I think the ultimate lesson though is about faith. Right now, I'm assigned to teach 4 periods rather than the 3 that I requested, which doesn't allow me to take any of the classes I wanted to take b/c of the overlap with my work schedule. Our department chair keeps encouraging me to talk to the principal to see if there's any possibility that they would fulfill my request. So here's the dilemma for me. Do I take the road that's certain?
- no classes = no steps taken toward my dream, but 80% salary (not too much of a difference from FT teaching)
...OR do I take the road less certain?
- classes = steps taken toward dream but uncertainty of fulfillment
- extremely busy schedule with art classes + learning a new curriculum
- 60% salary + exhorbitant tuition expenses to attend degree classes at a fancy art school = big salary cut (all for an uncertain outcome)
Although the latter is the direction toward which I feel led, I'm always drawn to the most practical, most certain, and most tangible decision which in this case is the former. It makes me wonder how I will ever see God moving in my life if I only make these kinds of decisions, the ones where it looks like I'm in control or that I can control. When I look at it this way, I realize that I don't have a lot of faith and that I'm very short-sighted. So, lately I'm learning to hold onto things less, especially my plans since I'm such a planner. I'm deciding that it's okay with me if nothing happens according to my plans and struggling to believe and accept that the plans God has for me are better. I actually experience a lot less anxiety when I let it all go, but it's hard to do and especially hard not to regress.
So far, I think God is opening a lot of doors for me. I attended my first photo class last night, and I really like the instructor who happens to be a prof in the photo department. I jive with his philosophy about how to learn to become a better photographer. I think I can learn a lot from him. It also happens that one of the other students is actually an administrator at the school. Perhaps God is creating opportunities to help me make some connections. We'll see where the road leads.
With regard to my work schedule, I don't know if my schedule will be cut to 3 classes. At this point it's probably unlikely. Again, we'll see.
The decision to work part-time next year has brought up so many issues for me. I think the ultimate lesson though is about faith. Right now, I'm assigned to teach 4 periods rather than the 3 that I requested, which doesn't allow me to take any of the classes I wanted to take b/c of the overlap with my work schedule. Our department chair keeps encouraging me to talk to the principal to see if there's any possibility that they would fulfill my request. So here's the dilemma for me. Do I take the road that's certain?
- no classes = no steps taken toward my dream, but 80% salary (not too much of a difference from FT teaching)
...OR do I take the road less certain?
- classes = steps taken toward dream but uncertainty of fulfillment
- extremely busy schedule with art classes + learning a new curriculum
- 60% salary + exhorbitant tuition expenses to attend degree classes at a fancy art school = big salary cut (all for an uncertain outcome)
Although the latter is the direction toward which I feel led, I'm always drawn to the most practical, most certain, and most tangible decision which in this case is the former. It makes me wonder how I will ever see God moving in my life if I only make these kinds of decisions, the ones where it looks like I'm in control or that I can control. When I look at it this way, I realize that I don't have a lot of faith and that I'm very short-sighted. So, lately I'm learning to hold onto things less, especially my plans since I'm such a planner. I'm deciding that it's okay with me if nothing happens according to my plans and struggling to believe and accept that the plans God has for me are better. I actually experience a lot less anxiety when I let it all go, but it's hard to do and especially hard not to regress.
So far, I think God is opening a lot of doors for me. I attended my first photo class last night, and I really like the instructor who happens to be a prof in the photo department. I jive with his philosophy about how to learn to become a better photographer. I think I can learn a lot from him. It also happens that one of the other students is actually an administrator at the school. Perhaps God is creating opportunities to help me make some connections. We'll see where the road leads.
With regard to my work schedule, I don't know if my schedule will be cut to 3 classes. At this point it's probably unlikely. Again, we'll see.
posted by haed at 9:36 AM
1 Comments:
Wow! This is cool stuff. I feel really encouraged and challenged. More power to ya!
Post a Comment
<< Home