Restless - H

Gosh, I used to say, "Old is in your head." In other words, the limits you set for yourself are mental. I still think there's some truth to that, but as I get older I can't help but feel older and wish that I had the kind of time and optimism that a twenty-something has, this feeling like there really is a whole world out there that is exciting. Life does take its toll and does dampen one's optimism and idealism. We who consider ourselves wise might call this realism and wisdom, but I don't buy it. I think it's called being jaded or muted, and it's an excuse to live life with less gusto and to succumb to the mundane and the ordinary, an excuse to avoid taking risks. Still, I do find it hard to maintain that zest for life that I once had. I do feel so tired. Then, there's also this other part where I am now responsible for the lives of my children, and how to I balance risk taking with responsibility. I don't want to believe that I have to trade one in for the other, and I don't want them to pay for any gross mistakes I make. Sigh, what's the answer? Trial and error?