Being an AA parent here - H

One of the things to appreciate about the Bay area is the fact that we aren't the minority here being Asian-Americans. That means there are pretty good Asian restaurants, a good selection of Korean food markets, that other groups are used to people that look like me being around, and that we are recognized as a group. What's bad about it is that the AA parents in this area have built for themselves a not-so-positive stereotype and reputation, that they are generally people who are intensely interested in having over-achieving students, who must go to a prestigious school, who impose a ton of stress on their kids and through that affect the culture of the schools their kids go to and so impose that stress on the other kids there. The other parents don't appreciate this at all and a lot of times blame them specifically for it. At least that was true at the school where I was working. There are definitely parents that fit this stereotype out there, and they're not all AA, and there are definitely AA parents that are not like that.

I at least hope to be one of the latter, but I'm finding that people automatically assume that I am one of the former when I talk about J. For example, it happens that J's verbal skills have really bloomed, and she's significantly ahead of the curve in this area. So, at her doctor's appointments, I'll give him an update on how she's developing and what she's doing lately, and I feel like even he thinks that I'm exaggerating about J's skills, I guess in order for her to look like she's ahead?? In all honesty, I've been aware that she is ahead, but I hardly know what is par for the course, with J being my first, and what benefit would there be really if I were to make J look "advanced" to her doctor? Anyway, that's how he makes me feel, and it bothers me a bit. There was another incident that made me feel like I'm just another one of those AA-parents-who's-trying-to-push-her-kid-academically yesterday, and I guess that's just something I'll have to learn to deal with if we stay in this area.

I mean, education is important to me, however, it's not all-important to me. More important to me is that J would become woman of character who knows who she is, who can make good, Godly, and wise decisions on her own and function in the world as a person of influence b/c of her character and who she is, not b/c of her credentials. Part of our blessing to her as parents is that she would be loved and surrounded by all sorts of people and that she would love them too, that this would be the gateway for her influence and that she would dream big dreams and that God would bring them to pass. It's ultimately most important to me that she is full of character, and any of her accomplishments would be accessories to that.

sigh. I'd hate to be lumped into a group that I don't really belong to b/c of who my kid is and and the shape of my eyes. I guess I can't really do much about it.