The perfect sandwich - H

I don't think I'm all that particular about food, but when I'm pregnant, I notice that it's has to be made just so or it's just not satisfying and frankly I get annoyed. So, last time it was tacos. This time it's sandwiches. If you're going to make me a sandwich, the mustard (not mayo), goes on the bread and then you lay the meat on top of it, not the lettuce. The mustard enhances the flavor of the meat and does nothing for the lettuce. Then, all the veggies should be on the same side of the sandwich. There's no splitting of the lettuce and tomato, and you definitely don't put the tomato on the other slice of bread. That makes for a soggy mess and terrible texture in your mouth. I was starving and looking forward to this perfect sandwich that this guy, who lives with me and whose name rhymes with Freddie, offered to make me. I ate the second one, but just b/c I couldn't stand to wait for a third. It's not his fault. How would he know?