I'm doomed - H

Someone said of Baby J that she is the least fussy baby she knows in the world. I've only had one baby, so what do I know, but I must admit that she's pretty chill. Some may be happy to know that my days of relaxed motherhood are slipping away, that I'm joining the ranks of mothers with normally fussy children. I don't know if it's b/c full days of active mothering are wearing me down or if it's b/c I've gotten so used to having it my way, but I'm wondering whether I can really handle this for the long term. I love to wake up to her calls in the morning. I love the open-mouthed smile with her sunshiny eyes when she sees me as she's peering over the bumper. I love how her happy feet go wild as I'm about to pick her up out of the crib. Then I look at the clock. One minute down, 11 hours to go until bedtime. Of course I'm exaggerating...a little. I love spending my days with her, but she's getting to be a handful as she slowly becomes aware of her mind and how to assert herself. Man! If she's anything like me, I'm doomed.

Lately she's been into paper. Once the magazine, the mail, any paper goods catch her eye, her gaze is fixed and she's determined to get her hands on them. Today she took a bite from the cover of a magazine. I heard the page rip and saw the corner she bit off and quickly tried to get my finger into her mouth. Well, she said, "No, mommy. I like eating paper and you can't sweep it out of my mouth." Well, of course, not in so many words. She just pursed her lips tightly and tried to get away from me. This is not the first bit of paper she's actually eaten. (sigh) Maybe the fiber will help the constipation from eating solid food.

I used to think that if I had a child that was like me, I'd know how to handle it, but you know, I don't know if it works like that. Anyway, it's much too early to say, but I'm seeing glimpses, and it scares me.