Tug, tug - H

Baby hit 5 months a few days ago, and it's as if she suddenly became aware of her feelings and preferences. So, she just discovered in the last couple of days that she likes to sleep when she's in mommy's arms, and when I put her down for the night in her crib, or even for a nap, she wails in protest. It's starts with a sad face, then the tears appear, welling up in her eyes. She's mustering up the energy and emotion, short, detached little whimpers precede a hearty cry from the gut, a heart-wrenching one, piercing me simultaneously with her pleading stare. I put up a wall. I harden myself to it, and I tell her, "It's time to sleep, Baby." I cover her with a blanket, kiss her goodnight, and leave the room, her cries only getting louder. If I stop to think about it, I would nearly collapse. I know what it feels like to want something so badly (just the comfort of Mommy by my side) but to have it beyond my reach. She must feel so sad.

We're sleep training baby, so that's why we've had to leave her to cry herself to sleep. In all honesty, I think we've had it relatively easy. An acquaintance of mine told me that she let her son cry it out for nearly 2 hours the first night, and said it improved the second night - only an hour and a half or so. We haven't had to wait nearly that long. Still, it tugs at our heartstrings.