One hell of a day - H
Come to think of it, it's actually been a few weeks. Motherhood these days has been extremely difficult now that J has entered this new stage in her life which I'll call devilishness. I don't want to lend a negative lens through which people will see my baby, but that's how I feel. She's at times simply impossible to handle primarily b/c her crying at times is inconsolable and she's also beginning to assert her will which often conflicts with my wishes. Combined with her tenacity and singular attachment to me, I have barely made it though each day for the last couple of weeks. If I took time to stop, think, and feel. I would probably be in tears daily. Instead, in my exhaustion I will retreat physically to my room if I can, but it usually has to be a mental separation.
Motherhood has turned my life completely upside down. I enjoy nearly everything about J as a person in my life, however, I must admit that I don't appreciate the radical change it has brought to my life. I've rarely had time nor the energy to exercise. I have no motivation to cook/bake, host, or entertain. Time with E is severely limited. I think twice about travel b/c of the ordeal it has now become. I feel like my life is defined by the mundane, and I have no time nor energy to pursue my hobbies. I suppose this is a stage in our lives. I didn't feel like this until recently, after J entered this tantrumy phase. I hope it gets better soon. It seriously sucks!
Motherhood has turned my life completely upside down. I enjoy nearly everything about J as a person in my life, however, I must admit that I don't appreciate the radical change it has brought to my life. I've rarely had time nor the energy to exercise. I have no motivation to cook/bake, host, or entertain. Time with E is severely limited. I think twice about travel b/c of the ordeal it has now become. I feel like my life is defined by the mundane, and I have no time nor energy to pursue my hobbies. I suppose this is a stage in our lives. I didn't feel like this until recently, after J entered this tantrumy phase. I hope it gets better soon. It seriously sucks!
posted by haed at 10:50 PM
1 Comments:
Oh H, I totally hear you. N went through a phase like this a few months ago, and I thought I was going to go musth like an elephant, stampeding through the house through a vale of angry tears. It only lasted a couple of weeks, but this past week it started happening again and this time I actually did cry out of sheer frustration, which is the only thing that finally stopped N's crying--she was so shocked to see me cry that she stopped crying. Not that I recommend it, but just to tell you that I feel you on this! And I also want to encourage you that the tantrum phase doesn't last forever (but it does sometimes resurface, alas). I'm glad you were able to get away and recharge a little bit.
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