A case of the blues - H

I've been feeling a little blue lately. I think it happens when major change is about to happen, and since I'm having a baby in about 2 months, I think that qualifies. I also think that it has to do with the fact that I've been a SAHM for 2 years now, and my life is, at least to me, mundane and ordinary. My regular activities include feeding, changing diapers, going to the park, running errands, putting J down for naps, playing with dolls, dealing with tantrums, and other such things. Cooking is not on the list b/c I hardly cook these days.

Anyway, it's been a bit better that last couple of days b/c it felt really bad to lament about how mundane my life is, and b/c I realized that well, if I actually keep myself busy and take care of some of these tasks I won't be as bored. The recurring question though is whether this is really all my life is about, and the thought that I have much more time to engage in these activities since #2 will be arriving shortly was a bit depressing...and not b/c I don't want to have another kid but b/c it's hard to do some of the things I think would make me feel better, generally being physically active and setting my own schedule and doing things on my own time line rather than having to negotiate (or battle) with a 2 year old.

Anyway, being productive and getting things done around the house along with little projects I have yet to finish (like J's baby book) can be satisfying too. It's not as thrilling as other things might be, but this is where I am for now. Hopefully, sometime in the next 6 months or so, I can resume some of those other things I'd like to do and feel connected to this other part of myself.

To end with a J story -

J was playing in the back with E after dinner. She comes in for her bath and to get ready for bed and tells me, "The moon is broken, Mommy!" The moon was only have full that night. I ask, "Where's the rest?" She raises her hands and says, "I don't know!"