A mistake - H

So, I made a big mistake the other day. I was unkind to a little girl who was probably crying out for attention, but in so doing was provoking my little girl. J was at the top of a slide just hanging out. No one else was in line for the slide so, she was enjoying the view. Another little girl probably about 4 years old came up behind her, and I told J that if she's not going to go down the slide, she needs to let this other girl go down. So she moved aside, and then the little girl sat down right where J was sitting and stared back at her, as if to say, "What are you going to do about it?" J wasn't pleased with it, knowing that this wasn't right. I wasn't quite sure what to do either. The moment passed, the other girl went down the slide and it was over.

So, J resumed her play and sat at the top of the slide again, enjoying the view. Well the little girl came back. I turned and then turned back again, and the girl was trying to push J down the slide with her knees. J was helpless and couldn't stop it. I looked the girl straight in the eyes and told her firmly, "Do not push her!" I actually had to say it a couple of times before she stopped. I went up there, and comforted J b/c she was upset. She was actually mad. She said as much, and later kept talking about the girl that tried to push her down the slide. (Poor girl.) I talked to the little girl calmly, and told her that it's not nice to push little girls, that J was upset, and I suggested that she apologize. She seemed amenable to it, and so I gave her the opportunity. She just stared at me hard straight in my eyes, and in effect told me, "Whatever." Then I made a backhanded comment about her not having any manners, and I took J down the slide with me.

I'm still thinking about it a few days later b/c I imagine that she needs some positive attention in her life, maybe just some attention period. I could have been the person that offered her a bit of care and attention, if only for a few seconds, and maybe that would have changed her somehow. Sure, it's understandable (perhaps not excusable) that as a mother bear trying to protect her own little girl that I would have responded this way, but I can't help but wonder if I could have somehow broken through her hardness with kindness. She was clearly trying to get some attention from me.

I'm reminded that parenting is a big responsibility and thankful that there is grace. I'm most thankful that J's life is in her Father's hands and that she belongs to Him ultimately. While we have the awesome privilege of being her parents, He will walk with her through her entire life. That's so comforting to know. Thanks, Lord.